Comfort Zones

Our first comfort zone is the womb of our mother. It is a quiet and safe place surrounded by human warmth.  Nine months of the most miraculous growth from cell to full baby happens in comfort. So, where does this message that “no growth happens in your comfort zone” come from?

Have you heard something similar? Whether at church, on social media, TV, in movies, sports, or psychology…have you heard some form of this statement? “You have to get out of your comfort zone in order to grow.”  

“Mother” is the symbol for comfort. She represents safety, nurturing and care. These are essential for any type of growth. Statements to the contrary make it seem like comfort is something to abandoned. This is where cruelty thrives. Loss of comfort can leave people cold and unkind.

If being uncomfortable was the only way to grow then stress would be sought after and celebrated. But the science of development, strengthening, and recovery is much more complex than that. Stress isn’t always bad, but too much causes damage. 

Obviously no one stays in their mother’s womb. Leaving the comfort of that zone is necessary. But then there are Mother’s breasts, her arms and her lap. Babies don’t just graduate to adulthood as soon as they are swaddled. 

Comfort zones are all around us as we age. Places of safety, rest and connection are like stepping stones on our journey. You leave one and move onto another. Human development is more like a series of births and graduations. 

Seems to me people downplay comfort as though it is a luxury. Some comforts can be excessive, leaving us weakened by their convenience. But discerning physiological and psychological needs can be the difference between getting stronger or getting injured. 

The problem is that people’s comfort needs look different for dozens of reasons. We can’t just assume everybody is the same. One person’s catalyst for change is another person’s point of breakdown. Knowing what our own limitations are is essential to applying such ideas appropriately.

Directing a sweeping cliché toward everyone is highly inaccurate, misleading and outright damaging for many. I, myself, bought into this idea ignorantly for many years. I pushed beyond my limits thinking it would make me strong and tough, but it ultimately led to nervous system burnout.

 Even coming to terms with the damage was quite difficult until I weeded out the idea that “comfort is for sissies”. Now it just seems foolish, but unlearning this idea allowed a shift in my thinking that has benefitted every area of my life. 

So many things I want to share hinge on this discernment. It feels like a good place to start. I have no problem challenging ideas that fail to help me thrive. I invite you to join me in reexamining this, and more.